The Dissident Dad – “Death”

“Bodie is getting dead.”

Those were the words out of my 4-year-old’s mouth as the vet was on her way to our house to put down our 15-year-old German Shepard.

While this event was traumatic enough, within 12 hours, my children came face to face with yet another death.  We noticed buzzards circling in the backyard, and when the kids went to see what had happened, the only thing left was a cat’s tail. 10-month-old kitten Queen Elsa was dead.

Due to these two events, the last 24 hours has been a pretty sad period over at the Ameduri home, with the topic of death front and center. As far as the dog, the kids asked a dozen times why we didn’t just let Bodie pass — why did the vet have to give him a shot? We explained that it was the humane thing to do, and that by doing so we helped our dog avoid the pain of not being able to walk, use the restroom, and potentially even starvation due to a loss of appetite.

It’s funny, I’ve never given much thought about the right to death debate, but as I was explaining why it was humane to kill our dog, I couldn’t help but think about why it wouldn’t be just as humane to allow a person to do the same if they so desired. While I’m not going to open up that can of worms, I started to appreciate the notion that individuals should have the freedom to chose how they want to end their own lives.

In response to all this unexpected death, my wife and I decided to focus on how precious all of our lives are, and how much we love life as well as each other. From healthy eating to our next vacation, I was proud of the excitement our kids expressed about their lives even in the midst of overwhelming death. One of the traditions at our home is to go around the dinner table and discuss what we are thankful for every night. My 4-year-old melted her dad’s heart by saying she was thankful for her family.

Death is a tough issue for all of us, but one piece of wisdom I took from Steve Jobs, which I hope to pass down to my kids, relates to him saying it is important to fully appreciate that we are all going to die. Recognizing and accepting this inevitability can allow us to live better lives and more fully cherish every moment we have. It motivates us to go out and do what we want. The kids and I, as we were burying the cat’s tail (yes, for real), focused on how happy the cat was while she was alive and how much we will all miss her.

I recall once learning about a very important exercise that truly changed my life. I don’t even remember where I read it, but the author encouraged readers to write down the 3 things you want said about you at your funeral. And it is in those three statements that you will find your life’s passion and purpose.

It’s a truly incredible idea to put on paper, and I know it really helped me clearly realize what I was living for. I suggest you give it a try.

Alive and well, the Dissident Dad.

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