You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…

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You are capable of critical thinking.

You distrust mainstream media.

You like nature.

You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China.

You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane.

You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda.

You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search.

You have read a book in the past year.

You think you have the right to protest.

You think the War on Terror is a scam.

You think the War on Drugs is a scam.

You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are.

You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country.

You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act.

You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are.

You question whether the government loves you.

You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs.

You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watch is RT, especially the Keiser Report and Capital Account.

You don’t think the NDAA is the name of Kesha’s latest single.

You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs.

You think corporations aren’t people.

You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist.

You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream.  He’s still a bad guy.

You know that gold was made illegal by FDR in 1933 and confiscated from the American people.  You know that gold bullion remained illegal for Americans to own until 1975.

You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines.  If they are unable, their children should go.

You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming.

You grow your own food.

You buy raw milk.

You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations.

You are aware that the Department of Homeland Security has purchased 1.2 billion rounds of ammo in the past year.

You question whether said ammo purchases are in anticipation of a Normandy beach style landing by Al Qaeda.

You think allowing a small group of unelected people (The Federal Reserve) to print unlimited amounts of money and distribute it as they please might not be a good idea.

If you answered yes to more than five of the above, you might be a conspiracy theorist.  You also may be on the government’s terror watch list.  Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought. 

Best of luck comrades,
Mike

 

68 thoughts on “You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…”

  1. I can relate to some of it, but some of it is without sense to me…………..sounds almost like Jesse Ventura wrote it
    UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Damn right Jesse rocks, although he’s slow getting a clue. Some of us knew about 9-11 being a can of worms long before he started figuring it out. And Rosalee, you need to do more research. The only thing that accounts for all the evidence seen on 9-11 and in the months afterwards was tactical nuclear weapons used on intermittent floors and detonated by remote control; and the planes were probably taken over by remote control also, rather than the non-existent on the flight manifest ‘hijackers’; the only evidence for them is on the phone call that the FBI said turns out never happened. When are people going to do the research and realize, New York City was nuked? The evidence was hidden by the same people that told us the air was safe to breathe…

    If the ‘hijackers’ were all Saudi nationals, why didn’t we take our revenge out on them?

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  4. This a how-to on getting a post to go viral! First you use wit. Then brevity. Then combine with awareness and intelligence. Then make sure your target is guilty of every last thing you imply that it is. Super job, Mike.

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    • LOL what in the world are you talking about? Do you need someone else’s written theory to teach you how to personally feel about a subject? You can’t sort it out on your own without someone else telling you what is true for you? You can’t write your own theories for yourself then? Poor thing.

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    • Little in life is anything but theory. Even in the sciences.

      If you try to live your life by only proven things, and not by logic and common sense inferences, well…good luck.

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  13. I go into nature often; I take a pen and a journal to write poetry, as nature inspires me. Well, a park ranger came up to me and asked what I was doing. Apparently, he was very confused as to why anybody would actually be writing anything by hand. Same thing at coffee shops…II get puzzled looks. Alas…

    And yeah, I’m a conspiracy theorist ;)

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  19. You might be a conspiracy theorist if you don’t believe that Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan, James Earl Ray, and Timothy McVeigh were “lone nut” assassins.

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  20. there appears to be a rotating map in the top right hand corner of the page tracking the location of people on this website. isn’t that snoopyness exactly the kind of thing you guys are against?

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  30. Conspiracy Is A Crime, Not A Theory

    Conspiracies are actually quite common. They happen all the time. That’s why the word is in the English language, it’s in the dictionary, and it’s been a civil and criminal charge for at least a few hundred years. 40% of the people in federal prison right now are there on a conspiracy charge (among others). BUT….a conspiracy charge won’t stand by itself – there must be some other crime involved – conspiracy to commit murder, conspiracy to commit fraud etc.

    The basic defintion of a conspiracy is: “Two or more people working together towards some illegal result, or using illegal means to achieve a legal result”. Note that people work together, or collaborate, all the time!!!…but in order for there to be a conspiracy, there has to be something ILLEGAL going on. Secrecy has nothing to do with it, although most conspiracies are planned in secret – as most good things are done out in the open, and and deeds are done in secret (there are exceptions to this, as war is waged out in the open, and surprise parties are planned in secret)

    Hence, anyone who doubts the existence of conspiracies is delusional. A judge is not going to treat a conspiracy charge any different, procedurally, than any other crime. And believe me, evil people work together all the time towards evil goals…….and they work together VERY well (gee, think about who’s involved in conspiracies).. Much more efficiently than a bunch of do-gooder bleeding-heart liberals, libertarians or Christians…………

    Now, over the past hundred years or so, the propagandists have taken this perfectly legitimate legal term, and have added the word “theory” behind it in order to imply that something that is a “theory” that means it is not true. However, you’d never hear a judge use a term like “fraud theory” or “murder theory” before evidence is presented, or a decision handed-down, or like…..ever.

    What’s funny is that if you look up ‘theory’ in the dictionary, you’ll find definitions such as: “a coherent group of general propositions used as principles of explanation for a class of phenomena” or “the analysis of a set of facts in their relation to one another”……… In other words, it seems perfectly ok to talk about things such as the “theory of relativity” or “theory of evolution” and accept that they are true…….

    But now the perception of what the definition of a conspiracy is has changed from “An agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime or accomplish a legal purpose through illegal action.” to being associated with tin foil hats, kool-aid, paranoia, lunacy, UFOs, and Bigfoot. And now, Mainstream Media indoctrination causes a “slide response” in people upon hearing the word – causing their brains to go into complete shutdown mode (other words have a similar effect).

    You see……. if you and I get toegether and rob a bank, that’s called a “conspiracy” (and believe me, they would slap us with that IMMEDIATELY). But when we put our money in the bank and Rockefellers rob us ….oooooh, now the MSM will call that a conspiracy “theory”, Get it?” It depends on WHO is doing the plundering…..

    There’s no doubt in my mind that IF..IF we could EVER get a FAIR trial (impossible, I know) that we’d have no problem coming up with enough evidence to get Rockfellers, Rothschilds, Lehmans, Goldmans, Sachs, JP Morgan, Bushes, Clintons, Bernanke and the whole lot of them convicted for conspiracy, fraud, treason, and unlawful conversion FOR STARTERS. But of course it’s hard to enforce something like anti-fraud laws when the government participates in the fraud….

    Not everything is a conspiracy, as there must be 2 or more people working towards an illegal result for a conspiracy to exist (that’s not to say that laws aren’t made to protect those who engage in highly unethical behavior – they most certainly are). However…, nearly everything coming our way these is a DECEPTION. Look around you……war, terrorism, global warming, Obama “care” , advertisements, TV in general, insurance, GMO food, *organized* religion, psychiatry…the list goes on and on…very little is “as it seems”..it’s all smoke and mirrors, and it all has a hidden agenda behind some nicey-nice front.

    As far as a “Grand Conspiracy”, there is indeed a move on towards global government. IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT GOING ON AROUND YOU, YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION. The globalist actors have admitted so in their own speeches and writings and I’d be glad to send their own damning words to anyone interested.

    So…the bottom line is….I’m going to continue to use the term, with its proper meaning, and in its proper context………I urge the rest of you to do like-wise, and do not let the propagandists hijack and twist this perfectly legitimate legal term in order to cover up the very real conspiracies the elite (1%) are engaged in every day…

    I tell people all the time:

    “You can call me a conspiracy theorist if I can call you a coincidence theorist”.

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  32. Tiresome…….everything is tiresome. WHO is so clever to think that everything they write, is clever? Everthing I’ve read here today is not only tiresome, but extremely boring.

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  33. Thanks Mike,
    Great post!
    Love the name of this site, please remember folks,
    many Americans were killed or injured, (probably some in your family) fighting for freedom for Americans. The dead will continue to roll in their graves until we Americans men
    get up off the couch, jail the banksters and their puppet politicians just like Iceland did, and get back our freedom for ourselves, our kids, and their kids.
    Their are mountains of evidence that 9/11 was an inside job, one of the best in Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta’s testimony on what dick cheney did in the PEOC (Presidents Emergency Operation Center) bunker the morning of 9/11-

    Reply ↓

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  38. I guess I am some what a theorist but I always thought more I am conspiracy factualist The facts are hundreds of patents filed on 100 miles per gallon fuel systems are in fact actually owned by oil companies. It must be more than a theory because i sell my book money back if not convinced with over 2500 sold only 2 refunds With 90% free at himacresearch.com others back up the facts at byronwine.com rexresearch.com

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  40. If you think they are coming to get you like alex jones says think again i discovered something more insidious than that while researching something else I learned they discovered cancer was a virus and could be given in shots also Cancer needs to be turned on like a switch and that is by radiation they did the first step we all got vacinations and flu shots and now they are doing the second with smart meters and airport scanners. here is my research http://jonkirby2012.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/was-oswald-murdered-for-jfk-or-for-dr-marys-monkey-imagine-we-all-have-been-given-cancer-and-with-a-flick-of-a-switch-we-all-die-hence-airport-scanners-radiation-turns-the-switch-on/

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  49. The greatest conspiracy of all is the one passing you all right by guys. We elect politicians and give them control of our food, shelter, health, environment and finances. The world we live in is under the control of those men. The new disasters are made by men, the wars, the medicines and education are orchestrated by male decree. The four men to every one woman worldwide representation in Government is way out of balance. Those men have had it this way along time, that is History, and have we learned from that? Well sure, we know there are few women criminals, compared to men. Rival women politicians have been shown in studies to cooperate over projects more easily than men. Results show women exhibit more kindness and empathy than men. Men behave better in front of women. Make the boys put away their toys. Create a blood free resolution.
    Set it up for success, have Equal Gender Governments. Wave for it March 8th 12.30 Everywhere.
    http://www.equity4all.org.nz/
    http://www.petitiononline.co.nz/petition/equal-gender-government-for-new-zealand/1457
    http://ashleywiseblog.blogspot.co.nz/

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