Nation Horrified to Learn About War in Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

Just hilarious.  From the Onion:

WASHINGTON—As they scoured the Internet for more juicy details about former CIA director David Petraeus’ affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, Americans were reportedly horrified today upon learning that a protracted, bloody war involving U.S. forces is currently raging in the nation of Afghanistan. “Oh my God, this is terrible,” Allie Lipscomb, 29, said after accidentally stumbling on an article about the war while she tried to ascertain details about what specific sexual acts Petraeus and Broadwell might have engaged in…Sources confirmed that after reading a few paragraphs about the brutal war, the nation quickly became distracted by a headline about Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash’s alleged sexual abuse of a 16-year-old boy.

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  1. Most people have the attention span of a two year old, which is why I found this so funny! But no talk about the illegal drone strikes, killing of civilians, execution lists etc etc that the CIA and the US is currently involved in, and no-one is interested, but a sex scandal, that gets their attention! Sad, so sad!

  2. Considering real information about wars being perpetuated by US elites never gets released to the public, at least this incident is causing some discussion about real events in Iraq and Afghanistan over the past 11 years. (See Michael Hastings on CNN Piers Morgan)

  3. I know there are a lot of people out there who are ignorant of what is out there, and those people make up a fair percent i would say. I’m sick of the continual war that has been taking place since the turn of the century, a decade and counting. A faceless war. A winless war for those who have to send their children to fight, while the people who are waging this war are making billions upon billions of dollars. “Wars are fought with weapons, but won by men.” Well the weapons are taking over while the men just continue to dream and send their children to be scarred, placed in a situation they should never have to be in at the ripe ol age of 18, and potentially have to murder or be murdered for “Freedoms” that are being stolen from us one by one.

    • And just an addendum;

      All the while, the jobs that are needed for the rest of the country to be able to support this “War on Terror”, namely manufacturing, are being shipped out of the country “saving” companies billions. And I use quotations because who’s going to buy their products when the “middle” class, ie anyone who cant claim to be a millionaire by any stretch of the term, are so far down this debt slavery trap that we cant afford to eat, let alone buy that new phone, tv, or whatever the fuck to take your attention away for five minute; relative of course, cause these fuckers haven’t stopped for years. Fuck it all, let the paper burn, no regrets ’cause you know they have none.


    • Who in USAmerica HAVE to send their children to fight? Their children VOLUNTEERED to fight. Their children made the conscious CHOICE to join. Their children used their free will to exchange their labor for a payday and future benefits. It was an employment choice. Their choosen CAREER. There is no HAVE in the equation.

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